Just When…But Then…

from diynatural.com

Just when you get a chance to sit down to write…the baby cries in her crib waking from her nap much earlier than anticipated. But then she gives you that huge, toothless grin making you feel like a hero swooping in to save her from the dark.

Just when you finally get to the washroom…your 5 year old needs to talk and opens the door believing it is perfectly normal to carry on a conversation with mom while she’s on the toilet. But then he finishes that convo with “You’re my bestest mommy ever!” Wait, what? How many mommies do you have…never mind, I get it and I’ll take it.

Just when you think you might have an afternoon to watch a movie…it’s three days later and you’re still only half way through it. But then when you finally get to finish it you realize you got two movie afternoons instead of one.

Just when you’ve made yourself a steaming cup of tea…the phone rings, someone’s at the door, and it’s time to pick up your child at school…you return to iced tea. But then your child hugs you and asks that you have a snack together while he chats about his day.

Just when you grab that cable bill you’ve been meaning to get to…you realize it’s a week overdue.  But then…there’s no upside to this one except it’s only a week overdue.

Just when you’ve purchased that book you’ve been itching to read for a few months…it’s a month later and the book hasn’t left the store’s bag; it is buried under flyers and school work and all sorts of paper that life throws at you somewhere in the pile on that spot on the kitchen counter reserved for miscellaneous…which helps to explain the past due cable bill. But then that magical moment happens when hubby is out bike riding with child 1 and child 2 is napping and all is quiet and there is nothing else to do but read. Ah!

Just when there’s that beautiful sunny day…you can’t use your backyard since the swampy mess is still there because you’ve missed the landscaper’s calls because of course he always calls while you’re trying to get your baby to nap so you can get some writing time. But then that sunny day is followed by three days of rain giving the landscaper time to get to your house and figure out a game plan.

Just when you sit to watch a little mind-numbing television (or television to take away the numbing of your mind)…hubby wants to talk about work and current events and house stuff and gossip and cool places to travel or to eat…you know, normal adult stuff that your brain has trouble computing.  But then your mind wakes up a little and you remember what it’s like to be you.

Just when you think you can get a moment to yourself…it’s 9 o’clock and in your world that basically means it’s almost midnight (since you’ll be up one or two times with the baby and sleeping in has become a hazy memory of a very distant past)…it’s time to get to sleep so you can do it all over again the next day. But then the baby strangely wakes up, feeds and allows you to sleep until 6 am…almost 9 hours of sleep! Amazing. I can do anything after that much sleep!

What are your just when…but then moments?

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WWW Wednesdays

shouldbereading.wordpress.com asks three questions every week for WWW Wednesdays.  Check out the blog for MizB’s responses.  I think it’s a good, quick way to keep readers updated on what’s going on in my reading world.  Here are my answers:

What are you currently reading? Allegiant by Veronica Roth

What did you recently finish?  The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert – read review here. And, flipped through The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.  I will be writing about that soon!

What do you think you’ll read next? I didn’t finish my fall tbr…I still hope to read The Rosie Project but there’s another book by Sally Armstrong entitled Ascent of Women that I really want to read.  

Wanna play along?  Send me your answers to these questions or answer them at shouldbereading.wordpress.com

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Wednesday Quotables: Expecting

Wed quotables 3

35 weeks.  5 weeks left…though if she’s anything like her brother, she’ll be here in 2.5 weeks.  

Oh shit.  

I’m ready! I swear I am…but I feel more comfort from 5 weeks than 2.5!!!  I had an ultra sound today to make sure all was good – and it seemed like it was (full results at next week’s appointment).  She’s in position and her face was all smooshed so on the monitor she didn’t exactly look human…anyway, I’m sure she’s human.

On the drive home I thought today’s post would be about expecting and expectations in general. Here are some quotes that I found and loved.  Hope one (or all) resonate with you somehow!

expecting quote 4

(from pagingfunmums.com)

This has been my experience from the moment I find out I am pregnant.  Which is why losing a pregnancy – regardless of stage – is so devastating.  Knowing that a growing life is inside you is marvellous.

expecting quote 7

(from pics5.thispic.com)

Then I read this quote and it applies to expecting a baby or expecting any other event in your life.  If you’re always living for tomorrow…then what happens to all the great stuff you’re living through today?  And, even if it’s not so great…there’s a purpose for it.  I can’t wait for this baby to be born and be rid of varicose veins in places varicose veins should never be found, be rid of high glucose and get my body back.  I will miss the feeling of always having her with me, of feeling her move, kick and be supremely happy (because that’s what she’s feeling of course) inside mommy!

expecting quote 1

(from quotehd.com)

This quote reminded me of teaching.  Adults who do not work with teens always are in awe that I spend my days with them.  Teens are awesome.  Even the not so awesome ones have some redeeming quality.  Same goes for adults – except I find I am more forgiving of teens because they’re supposed to mess up.

expecting quote 3

(from inspiringquotes.in)

I can understand completely how this applies to motherhood.  It is, however, a tough one in relationships – many of us seem to always be looking at what our partner has given (or not given) us…perhaps it is a matter of what we’ve given (or not given) them.  Turn the tables and see how well we fare.

expecting quote 6

(from goodreads.com –  Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience)

I’ve never read nor come across this book; maybe one day.  I loved the quote.  So many of us walk around without loving ourselves fully – for different reasons…we feel it’s selfish, we were never taught to, it was not modelled for us etc. At some point we need to take charge for who we are and how we want to experience life.  If we want a life of love then we have to start with ourselves first…the rest will just fall into place.  It will.  (Not to be confused with arrogance)

expecting quote 8

(from izquotes.com)

Look around.  Be grateful – you have everything you need and then some.

So what did you think of today’s quotes?  Any ring true, hit home, make your blood boil?  Share your thoughts!

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The Small Things

Bulging Buttons inspired my post todayThe Small Things.

I have had a very stressful month and recently reminded myself that it is by feeling gratitude that I will find my way back to peace, balance and contentedness.

Gratitude is defined as “the state of being grateful; thankfulness” – it is not an easy state to be in in a society that is bent on criticism, self-loathing and medicating itself to have some kind of feeling.  But, it is possible.

Some great quotes about Gratitude:

(courtesy: pinkchocolatebreak.com, inspirationboost.com, pinkchocolatebreak.com, todaysmama.com, revelinitmag.com, quotes.wishbowl.org)

I am using these quotes as inspiration to think about the things that I am thankful for.  Here is my completely random list of 5 small things, off the top of my head, in no particular order, and I’m sure it will change day-to-day.  However, today, these are the small things I am thankful for:

  1. The time to read a really, really great book.  My time is so precious – I feel like each day it is accounted for in so many ways that do not involve time for me.  This is why I blog at night, when my head is bobbing with sleepiness.  When I have 15, 20, 30  minutes to spend with a (great) book I am so grateful!
  2. My mother’s daily “check-in” – I speak to or text with my mom every day and I am so grateful for a mother that nurtures, loves and is my friend.
  3. Aveda’s “Be Curly” line of products – finally, a line of hair products made for my hair! Frizz is tamed. Curls are defined without being crunchy.  I’ve got that great SJP in Sex & the City hair that I love!
  4. Seriously can I write a post like this and not include the sound of my son’s laughter or his gorgeous poofy eyes and rosy cheeks and bed-head hair when he stumbles into our room every morning for a cuddle before getting up?
  5. I am grateful for the vintage bottle of wine brought over by a dear friend.  It lies there waiting for when I can savour it with my husband when we are deliriously happy and sleep deprived because of a new baby.

What small things are you grateful for?  Comment below or at Bulging Buttons or on your own blog and link back!

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What Would I Change About Myself?

I chose to write today’s NaBloPoMo post on the prompt provided for Wed. Nov.6:

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I have a feeling the answer to this question would have been very different 10, 15 years ago…

I am not unlike most women who can rattle off a list of things that are “wrong” with their bodies – height, weight, shape, width, hair, skin type, teeth, feet etc.  You named it, I would have a criticism for it. Except, lately, my criticisms are less sharp, more forgiving – they are virtually non-existent.

Is it age?  Is it the deep respect I have for my body’s ability to create and deliver life?  Is it spending my days teaching teenage girls, sensing their anxiety and being so grateful I am no longer at that stage?

Perhaps it is all of it.

I am happy with physical me.  It is a peaceful place to be.

In terms of internal me…it’s a bit of a different story.  I continually ask myself “What kind of woman/wife/mother/teacher/daughter/friend/writer do I want to be?” and I strive to be her.  When I do not meet my expectations I am terribly hard on myself.

Where I have learned to accept my body, I need to fully accept me and stop trying so hard to be the super woman/wife/mother/teacher/daughter/friend/writer.  Most importantly, I’d like to hush that judge that lives inside and just be.  While I enjoy every moment, see it’s beauty and worth I want to give myself the fearlessness to be, the eradication of the inner critic and the strength to forgive my errors with the same compassion I show others.

Change is not easy, but when it will bring you good, it is worth it.

What would you change about yourself?

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