Venting: Powerful or Powerless?

Venting. We all do it. But, why?

We entrust our friends with our deepest fears and concerns and they listen to us with love and support. It’s a beautiful part of friendship. When we do it over and over and over while refusing to believe that changing any of it is possible. Or, when we put up barriers to any avenue which might actually bring about change we give up all of our power to the outer world. We also forget how those feelings land or how our energy is being placed both on our friends and in the universe.

I realize that part of friendship is being there for each other, but sometimes our friends don’t have the answers and we have to find them for ourselves. Venting isn’t about answers…it’s about support and finding compassion for our woes. But, at the end of a venting session, we can be left bereft because we’ve put all of the negative emotions swirling inside us outside of us, and still no solution has been found. We’ve gathered lots of love, validation for our views, compassion and support, a few ideas on how to fix the problem, yet we’re still a little lost.

The trouble is, somewhere along the way we’ve lost our power. And, sometimes that actually feels safe because then we convince ourselves we can’t do anything and it is up to others to change.

We can only control ourselves, right?

Imagine being so powerful that we could be accountable for every single thought, feeling and action?

Imagine.

Imagine being so powerful that we could actually take action and make whatever is ailing us …debt, failed relationships, stifled dreams, dead-end job, stifled career, aging, illness, fear for our children’s future, caring for aging parents…stop ailing us?

No. Debt won’t magically disappear. Marriages won’t magically be wonderful and dreams won’t just come true. Our jobs won’t just happen to be perfect and we can’t cure illness or create the best path of life for our kids…No.

HOWEVER, we can change our relationship to how we view whatever it is that is bothering us. AND, we can fundamentally change our relationship with ourselves.

I’ve lived it. I’ve seen it happen and felt it happen. Looking at my life objectively, nothing has changed necessarily. I have changed. I have made myself a priority. In doing so, my stuff hasn’t changed. I’m just better equipped to handle it.

So, my dear reader, my challenge to you is find a way to get your power back. Yes, by all means, lean on those you love for support during difficult times. Just don’t get stuck. Find a way out of the storm that leaves you feeling empowered. Lovingly encourage your friends who wallow too long in their woes to find their power and their way out of being stuck on a hamster wheel of venting, feeling powerless, not changing a single thing in their situation, waiting for others to change, venting, feeling powerless etc. etc. etc.

Venting might make the problem feel lighter momentarily because it is being shared. Ultimately, it still exists. It will still be there after girls night, or coffee night. The question isn’t if venting makes you powerless, the question is, what are going to do to get your power back?

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#BookReview Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss

courtesy amazon.ca

I took longer to read Anatomy of the Spirit than I expected because I found I could only read it in short sittings. This was partly due to a busy home life, but I felt I needed to really concentrate during each sit and required longer periods to absorb the information and lessons Myss was imparting.

The book has a phenomenal introduction to both Myss’ work as a spiritual healer and to set up the content.

I appreciate the way she aligned Christian, Jewish and Eastern belief systems and how they all lead us towards the same purpose: to live in deep faith in a power beyond our own, to know ourselves deeply and give up the illusion of control.

The book is organized according to the 7 Chakras. Within each section she links each Chakra to a main Christian or Jewish tradition. She also weaves in many stories about people in suffering due to blockages at that particular chakra and how they either heal or remain in suffering due to their ability or inability to confront the decisions made in their life which brought them to where they are.

I will read this book again because I think this is one of those books which will offer me different insights at different points in my life.

The most inspiring lesson of the book is how much power we have to change our situations while simultaneously giving up control over our life. That is a lesson which I think will challenge me quite a bit and I am eager to allow unfold.

If you’re interested in deepening your spiritual journey, I think this is a definite must-read.