What Would I Change About Myself?

I chose to write today’s NaBloPoMo post on the prompt provided for Wed. Nov.6:

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I have a feeling the answer to this question would have been very different 10, 15 years ago…

I am not unlike most women who can rattle off a list of things that are “wrong” with their bodies – height, weight, shape, width, hair, skin type, teeth, feet etc.  You named it, I would have a criticism for it. Except, lately, my criticisms are less sharp, more forgiving – they are virtually non-existent.

Is it age?  Is it the deep respect I have for my body’s ability to create and deliver life?  Is it spending my days teaching teenage girls, sensing their anxiety and being so grateful I am no longer at that stage?

Perhaps it is all of it.

I am happy with physical me.  It is a peaceful place to be.

In terms of internal me…it’s a bit of a different story.  I continually ask myself “What kind of woman/wife/mother/teacher/daughter/friend/writer do I want to be?” and I strive to be her.  When I do not meet my expectations I am terribly hard on myself.

Where I have learned to accept my body, I need to fully accept me and stop trying so hard to be the super woman/wife/mother/teacher/daughter/friend/writer.  Most importantly, I’d like to hush that judge that lives inside and just be.  While I enjoy every moment, see it’s beauty and worth I want to give myself the fearlessness to be, the eradication of the inner critic and the strength to forgive my errors with the same compassion I show others.

Change is not easy, but when it will bring you good, it is worth it.

What would you change about yourself?

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2 thoughts on “What Would I Change About Myself?

  1. At this point in my life, I don’t think there is anything I would change about myself. I’m pretty happy with who I am. Would I love to go back to school? Sure. Would I love to have a paying job working with books? Yep. But I’m content, especially with who I am as a person. It’s taken me a long time to get here, and I feel good. 🙂

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    • I think that’s part of growing up. Everything you mention is extrinsic too. If we are content and at peace on the inside everything else loses importance. Would it be nice? Sure. Is it necessary for our happiness? Nope. Thanks for commenting.

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