courtesy: blogher.com

Anastasia Steele in E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey is in her early twenties and actually uses the phrase “…then I’m a monkey’s uncle.” Really???

I put this book on my summer reading list out of sheer curiosity.  I wish I hadn’t been so curious.  I knew it was going to be crap!  I knew it.  And, at 50 pages in, it is.

Friends whose reading tastes are similar to mine, or whose reading history I at least respect, all warned me…but did I listen?  Nooooo.  I had to see for myself.  Now I’m stuck with a shitty book that I will finish because that’s what I do – finish books I start (except for one, but whatever…everyone has at least one).

Anastasia Steele is the least believable character I’ve come across – her narrative voice is awful.  I would say that the book sounds like it’s being narrated by a teenager…but that would be insulting to teenagers.  Who in their early twenties talks like that?  As a girl in her early twenties she should be able to speak using modern cliches, not phrases that her great-grandmother would’ve used in her prime.

I hate that Anastasia is an English literature major and loves reading classics. Sure, that makes her a romantic – but it should also make her smart, and well spoken.  James should have made all cliche, slang, figures of speech off limits and made her sound intelligent without all the pitiful internal monologuing on how many times Grey looked at her.

Well, I put this book on my list…I started it and now I must finish it.

I cannot believe that this book is a “hit”, a “best-seller”…it is so frustrating that people who can write, who have wonderful ideas for great books cannot find publishers but this crap gets published.

Rant over.